That would be one of those things I would vow NOT to say ever. Every time I hear that (and nowadays it’s repeated on Suria due to coverage of the celebrity couple’s wedding), I cringe. It makes me sick in the stomach that someone as independent as the bride has internalised such patriarchal ideas about marriage without questioning it and just accepts it as ‘what Islam says’.
For some reason, since young I have always wondered why. Why, during family gatherings, when an idea is surfaced to go out or do something together on another date, or simply to leave at a later timing, my aunts would always say, “Wait, let me ask my husband first.” Why? Why can’t they just make the decision on their own, and then INFORM their husbands that this is what they would like to do? I have also always wondered why they and my mother would do things for their husbands (and my father) like take food and serve it for them when we are at family gatherings where the food is presented potluck-style. Nak cakap kasar, diorang takde tangan dan kaki sendiri ke nak ambil makanan sendiri? I have also always wondered, why, during kenduri doa selamat, it’s always the women who are busy working in the kitchen, yet every single time the prayers are over, it is always the men who get to eat first. Why?
Each and every human being is created to worship and serve and submit to God, alone. The ‘ikut perintah suami‘ mentality is almost like replacing ‘serving and submitting to God’ with ‘serving and submitting to the husband’. Sounds like shirk to me. Think about it.