Haha ok this is totally a just for fun post, to give you guys a break from my super-long-no-picture post. I know lah, zaman sekarang semua step visual
I gotta give credit to farnamals for giving me the perfect opportunity to drop a huge ass hint to the mister to give me a proper proposal
to be told to the grandkids just to fulfil my sentimentel desires.
Like her, I too had given up hope that I’d ever get a proper proposal. We had been together so long, taking the next step to get married was a no-brainer; he indicated his readiness by asking me if I’d like to ‘campak nama’ (literally, throw our names) for the chance to make the biggest ass purchase (or get into the biggest ass debt, whichever suits you) of our lives, and God gave us the biggest ass hint that it’s definitely time to settle down by granting us the magical number 25. Which threw us off balance and forced us to finally come clean with my parents about his existence. His parents had all along officially known of my existence as his girlfriend; my conservative parents chose to believe that if they don’t display an open attitude about dating, their daughters won’t do it and their suitors would just magically drop down from the sky via an announcement that a ‘friend’ of ours wants to meet them. Well, my mom knew I was seeing someone but she acted like she’d rather not know.
Ok, I’m being sarcastic here; of course my parents don’t believe the ‘drop down from the sky’ part, but the way they went about this issue of their kids growing up and dating is just so outdated, if you ask me. And I put them squarely responsible for the huge guilty conscience I had for all the years I lied about where I was going and who I was meeting and all those times I used my girlfriends’ names when I was actually going out with him. (Ok there, I’ve said it. Don’t judge me, if you know me personally. There are lots of instances I don’t agree with my parents’ parenting style. Like hello! Just because you don’t say or talk about something with your kid, doesn’t mean they won’t find out about it and try it out. A good example is sex. Not like I tried it out, but I found out about it and wonder how it would be like. We’re all adults here and have our own experiences so don’t pretend you’re a prude.)
Hey, this was supposed to be a fun, quick post! So back to the proposal, farnamal’s story has given me hope that I could still get that proper proposal. I don’t care how simple it is – a crushed up note with his cute kiddy scrawl on it, asking me to marry him, sneaked into my bag – even that I would love! Which reminds me of one incident, many years back, where my blurness truly was in his favour.
We had met at our then favourite meetup and hangout spot – Paya Lebar Singapore Post (that open space with the fountain or something of that sort in the middle). We were just sitting down, chatting, and he suddenly noticed a red (or was it yellow?) plastic bag lying in the shrubs some distance from where I was seated. He pointed it out to me and suggested I take it and check out what’s in it. I refused of course, imagining it to just contain leftover food packaging, the crushed up.brown paper used to wrap nasi lemak, perhaps (I don’t know why it has to be nasi lemak and not anything else, but I had that disgusting image of bits of rice, oil all over and bits of sambal and maybe one piece of ‘wilted’ cucumber- just precisely how my crushed up nasi lemak brown paper would look like, but the idea that it’s someone else’s leftovers makes it so much more repulsive). But this boy, he has this ability to convince me to do just about anything (must be that Indian blood in him), so eventually I reached over and picked up the bag.
Ever so blur, and as if under a spell, I followed his next suggestion to check out what was beyond the crushed newspaper inside the bag. I peeled the paper gingerly, afraid of what I’d find inside, and it turned out to be a box for a brand new watch! I still didn’t have a clue, and I opened the box to take a closer look and I actually exclaimed: “It’s a watch dear, but why would anyone leave it here? Whose could it be?” And he actually told me since I found it, I should keep it, and I said “NO!” in horror. I still actually thought that someone else had left it there for some reason and might come looking for it; he had to snap me out of the spell and state the obvious, that the watch was a gift for me!
I believe it was a just-because gift. Not because it was my birthday, not because it’s Valentine’s Day (which we mutually agreed never to celebrate as it’s pure commercialisation at work and just tacky), not our anniversary, it was just-because (he loves me). Which of course made it a really big surprise because I didn’t see it coming at all! Ah, what sweet memories.
Sadly, as the years went by, the novelty of a budding relationship wore off and ever more striking true colours became apparent; I’m sad to say we grew complacent (he got there first, me being the hopeless romantic still tried to make special days special by writing him poems in cards, etc) and gifting just became a practical routine: “What would you like for your birthday this year? Please think about it and let me know what you want.” Or, let’s do the usual lunch / dinner treat (and maybe a movie) at the same usual places for your birthday or mine (and sometimes it combined to become ours since our birthdays are just four days apart). No more surprises, no more little flutters in the heart. We’re not even married yet, and the romance has already died off! Sigh, the hazards of a long-term relationship.
So moral of the story kids: Don’t get into a serious relationship so young! People go all awwww when you say you’re marrying your high school sweetheart, but they’ll never know how much it takes to last that long and how many obstacles you face to keep it together.
And moral of the story for me: Don’t lose hope! Work for what you want, even if it’s to ask for it shamelessly! LOL
And so I’ll end off with something that made me randomly happy recently:
Random odd or repeating numbers make me randomly happy! Weirdo that I am..