Advice: My husband doesn’t want to have sex

Reposting this just because this is something hardly discussed and vocalised in my community, because sex is a taboo topic (even within marriage) and women don’t have sexual desires. Ok I’m obviously being sarcastic on that last part. ;p

Love, InshAllah

Ed. note: Today our columnists are answering two similar questions that came in within days of one another.

Dear Love InshAllah,

I am happily married, and have been so for the past six years. Our sex drives, though, were never compatible; last year we had a very open and loving discussion where I suggested that he might be asexual. After some consideration, he agreed. Sex wasn’t very often (maybe 1-2 times a year) but now it is nothing. I’m not comfortable discussing this with my Imam, who is fairly conservative. Although my husband doesn’t have a sex drive, I do. I’m a sex-positive person, but don’t know how to navigate this issue in my life. I’ve been praying (for years) but am still stuck. I’m not interested in divorce; we’re very compatible in almost every other way. Is touching and physical intimacy no longer a part of my life?


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3 thoughts on “Advice: My husband doesn’t want to have sex

  1. Stuff I want to say to people who keep asking why I’m not pregnant (yet):

    “I’ve been a virgin for 25 years, you’re not going to give me a few years to enjoy sex?”
    “Sex is not just about making babies. You can make babies without sex!”
    “Because sex with my husband is AWESOME!”

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