I have a dream… (but no song to sing)

I dream pretty often and I get pretty weird dreams, and when I wake up I’ll find myself telling myself to tell someone about it, but I have a short memory span when it comes to these things (ok when it comes to a lot of things to be honest) so a lot of times I totally forget about the dream before I get the chance to tell someone.

It just literally disappears into thin air and no amount of effort at trying to recollect what this or that weird dream is about would get the memory back. It’s like the dream never happened, although I know it did and it gets frustrating when I can’t recall what it is.

But this time round I’m determined to preserve that memory while I still have it, because it is related to something that has been on my mind. And I guess that that something-that-has-been-on-my-mind, has been on my mind, whether consciously or not, long enough, to seep into my subconscious and manifest itself in my dream state.

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Ramadan Reflections #1 – Past and Present

I was doing the dishes after buka (breaking of fast meal; I can’t bring myself to use the word iftar because it just seems pretentious to me) several nights ago and it crossed my mind that if I ever have children, two is a good number, because right at that moment, I was cleaning up for a 4-member family consisting of 2 parents and 2 children. And I was quite happy to do it, as opposed to when I had to clean up after a 7-member family.

And then, my thoughts went to a comparison between how it was then, and how it is now. Yes, if you think that that’s quite a number of thoughts to have while doing the dishes, let me admit here that dishwashing time is the time when I daydream. Or duskdream, to be more time-appropriate.

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Hijab and the objectification of women

Even though I wear a form of hijab myself (more compelled by my parents since I was 10, than anything, and I have yet to decide what my belief is on it since I have yet to research the Quran for myself), I find such memes as described in this post to be offensive. Why is it always about women? Have we ever seen a meme telling men how to dress? It’s not that I am saying we should do to Muslim men what is being done to Muslim women; I am saying that why is the focus on how one dresses? If it is indeed something that God commanded, it should be between God and the individual, and everybody else should just mind their own business and focus on their own relationship with God. And while I have yet to decide on my belief about hijab, there is one thing I definitely believe in: Modesty in thought and actions, intelligence, humility before God, acquiring of knowledge and spirituality, is possible WITHOUT it.

A Sober Second Look

Today, I tripped over a modern neo-traditionalist Muslim scholar’s discussion of reasons why hijab is a Good Thing when I was looking for something else.

According to him, there are three main benefits to wearing hijab. First, because women supposedly always dress with the idea of whether or not men will find them attractive (even when they are supposedly dressing in order to impress other women…), hijab protects women from being constantly concerned about the male sexual gaze. Second, because wearing hijab trains the wearer to behave in a chaste and self-disciplined way. And third, because it marks gender difference, allowing women to look like women while not also being sexually alluring to men.

This type of pro-hijab rhetoric was all too typical in the conservative community that I used to belong to. Back then, I used to say similar things when I was asked why I wore hijab. While…

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Aisha & The Dragon Slayer

This is such an AWWWW post. Seriously, after all the flowers and the ‘fairytale’ wedding and all that jazz, all a woman (or at least this woman) wants is a laki yang boleh diharap. Tak hensem tak kaya tak buat perempuan lain jeles takpe, yang penting boleh diharap. And would make waffles and pancakes for me while I sleep in, with or without kids.

Love, InshAllah

Eds. note.: Happy 11th wedding anniversary to our columnist Aisha Saeed & her husband Kashif!

aisha

Sleep deprivation is an ugly dragon of a beast. Allow me to describe it, for I know it intimately. It is at once amorphous and concrete with a uniquely menacing gait. Its tentacles are dark and wiry—firm. It wraps you in its fold, wrings you out, leaving you completely disoriented.

But that’s not the bad part.

The bad part is how it fogs a beautiful blue sky. How it lures you into believing that this hazy reality is all that was and will ever be. How you look at your home, the piled laundry, the cluttered family room, and try as you might to use your rational mind, all that emerges is the one singular thought It’s no use, I’ll never get on top of any of this. 

And then, along comes the dragon slayer.

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