Sometimes I feel like I’m not capable of doing anything right. Or well, either. There has been far too many unproductive days that the hole I’ve dug for myself seems too deep to climb out of.
My mom once asked me, are you sure you’re ready for marriage? As in ready, mentally?
Now I’m not sure if I have ever been a fully functioning, contributing adult. Perhaps I have allowed myself to be stuck in ‘delayed adolescence’? Too much daydreaming, too much procrastinating, too much ‘no mood to do anything’, too much ‘do whatever I feel like doing, even though it’s neither important nor necessary nor urgent’?
I wake up every work day, wishing I didn’t have to wake up at all. Time never seems enough for me, yet the moment time frees up in my schedule I refuse to use it to do what I have to be doing, to avoid career suicide. I let myself get distracted by so many unimportant, unnecessary, un-urgent things.
And now I find myself turning to food for comfort again.
How long has it been since I smiled genuinely (instead of nervously, wryly, sarcastically) at work? Days? Weeks? Months?
They say you’re supposed to get better with time and experience. It seems to me it’s been like a downward spiral since I first started close to four years ago.
Here it is! It’s the real deal, girls!
(By the way, congratulations for making it to this exclusive reader list! Haha… right.)
Now wouldn’t you all be so excited to read THE actual post? Well I started typing this out with the intention of making it THE post, but as usual, my long grandmother storytelling tendency took over, so this shall be a little (long) introduction to the whole historic moment.
So, as all of you know, I just went (just, as in at 1pm on Saturday, 13 April 2013) for my virgin brazilian waxing session. Now, I thought I would be totally hesitant and super shy and consider it a gazilion times before I pluck up the courage to go. Surprisingly, this was a totally spontaneous decision. Why is that?
Here’s a little background:
I saw something in my email inbox today which reminded me of Eleventh October and her ‘Unorthodox Bride Questions’. I should add here that I wanted to thank her for asking such questions so that I don’t have to! Heheh.
I have been intending to do something about my ‘forest down under’ (haha) before my wedding and this online voucher seems like a good idea, especially since it offers a permanent ‘deforestation’ if you get what I mean. I’m so tempted to purchase it but the company is located in town – and you could say I’m a country bumpkin because I hate going to town. However since I also have a facial package somewhere in town (like a few train stops away), I guess I could schedule some Saturdays as personal grooming cum self-indulgence day – I should look and feel good top to bottom for the big day, no? So, should I?