What Makes A ‘Good’ Wife – Objection #2

The following objection is with regards to domestic responsibilities, and by extension what constitutes a good home. Let’s ‘revise’ the marital advice given to Muslim wives by the speaker:

2. Rumah mesti dihias, jangan kotor macam rumah Yahudi

(Your house must be looked after and decorated, not left dirty like the house of this group of people which I shall not translate because demonising any group is just offensive)

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On the bus ride home…

Sometimes I feel like I’m not capable of doing anything right. Or well, either. There has been far too many unproductive days that the hole I’ve dug for myself seems too deep to climb out of.

My mom once asked me, are you sure you’re ready for marriage? As in ready, mentally?

Now I’m not sure if I have ever been a fully functioning, contributing adult. Perhaps I have allowed myself to be stuck in ‘delayed adolescence’? Too much daydreaming, too much procrastinating, too much ‘no mood to do anything’, too much ‘do whatever I feel like doing, even though it’s neither important nor necessary nor urgent’?

I wake up every work day, wishing I didn’t have to wake up at all. Time never seems enough for me, yet the moment time frees up in my schedule I refuse to use it to do what I have to be doing,  to avoid career suicide. I let myself get distracted by so many unimportant, unnecessary, un-urgent things.

And now I find myself turning to food for comfort again.

How long has it been since I smiled genuinely (instead of nervously, wryly, sarcastically) at work? Days? Weeks? Months?

They say you’re supposed to get better with time and experience. It seems to me it’s been like a downward spiral since I first started close to four years ago.

As smooth and clean as a baby?

I saw something in my email inbox today which reminded me of Eleventh October and her ‘Unorthodox Bride Questions’. I should add here that I wanted to thank her for asking such questions so that I don’t have to! Heheh.

I have been intending to do something about my ‘forest down under’ (haha) before my wedding and this online voucher seems like a good idea, especially since it offers a permanent ‘deforestation’ if you get what I mean. I’m so tempted to purchase it but the company is located in town – and you could say I’m a country bumpkin because I hate going to town. However since I also have a facial package somewhere in town (like a few train stops away), I guess I could schedule some Saturdays as personal grooming cum self-indulgence day – I should look and feel good top to bottom for the big day, no? So, should I?

Decisions, decisions

I initially wanted to post this dilemma I’m in on the Cozy Cot Malay / Muslim weddings forum, but then I realised it’s way too long for a forum post so I doubt anyone will entertain my question there. I’m hoping the kakak-kakak kahwin network of bloggers that I have made friends with virtually / blog followers I’ve gathered over these few months would campak your opinions on this crucial decision I’m about to make! So please, you guys! I have faith in you so give me as many comments as you can OK!

I didn’t want to talk about it here initially because it would mean revealing a part of my proposed budget, and I didn’t want to do that because, well, I intended to get the whole wedding over and done with first! Money is a sensitive issue when it comes to parents and their faces (I really hate this F word), and although I am the one footing the whole entire bill, not them, however when it comes to money spent on the wedding, it still is a big deal to them.

No, they’re not expecting me to spend $60 k like those parents in the Refleksi drama; in fact they know I am striving to keep costs as low as possible and they know the words ‘wedding’ and ‘budget’ are practically Siamese twins in my dictionary. However, they still prefer that money-related information are kept within the nuclear family first, and should other people like their friends or extended family or relatives need to know because they’re curious or are doing some early surveying, they should approach them personally and not find out from outside sources, like oh, the internet.

Now, I know that I have family (some siblings, aunts, cousins) among my (silent) readers, so I am taking a big risk here. However, after that above preamble I hope you would continue your silence and keep whatever you have been reading to yourselves. I have faith in you guys too ok! 

Alright. *Takes deep breath.* Here goes!

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