A Tale of Two Caterers (Part One)

My parents and I met the caterer in the evening yesterday on Wednesday and we have finalised the menu and guest numbers! I’m having lots of good vibes (even despite the fact that I’m going to have to fork out close to 2k more than what I budgeted) and I can’t wait to see the spread of food all nicely and prettily aranged! And of course hopefully get to eat til I’m stuffed at least have a taste of a bit of everything.

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.

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The Virgin Brazilian – A Prologue

And so I did it!

Errrr, not that kind of did it.. I’m talking about my virgin, that is, first experience doing brazilian waxing. I’m all smooth and clean, down front and back! *giggles*

Now, I’m all raring to share about my experience, but it would have to be a private, for ladies-only post. So how will this work?

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I don’t like the word ‘izin’

Note: I am on medical leave today because I’m sick and tired and I had a long week without much rest over the weekend because I had a 2-day marriage-related course to attend. Seriously, the government should cover all bases if they really want people to get married and start families. Since it’s compulsory for couples to go for marriage preparatory course before they get married, the government should grant them pre-marriage leave to go for it, instead of them having to sacrifice their weekend / off day to attend. This would also prove that the government genuinely wants to help increase citizen population.

That being said, here’s the post I started writing yesterday and finished today while I waited for the medication to take effect and bring me to lala land.

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Less than 11 months left…

…and what have I achieved, wedding-wise?

Well, here’s a list:

Bridal outfits and makeup? Check! Materials for my outfits acquired and sent to the tailor; bridal makeup artist booked. No drop dead gorgeous bride, no wedding!

Groom? Check! Ensnared and groomed him for the role close to 10 years ago hahahah! Again, no drop dead handsome groom, no wedding!

Marriage preparatory course? Check! Booked on 11 December 2012, will attend this February! Repeat with me people; no certificate, no wedding!

Venue? Check! First item booked after we fixed the date. No guests, no wedding! But I’ll still be married so who cares? There’s a place to hold the wedding, a place for guests to come!

Food? No check! Well, the guests can leave to fill their own tummies elsewhere after the wedding.

Well, WHAT??? Less than 11 months to the wedding and no caterer booked?!?!?

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A post on posts (and eventually gifts)

There isn’t much to update, except that it’s Friday night YAAAYYYYYY!!! Who doesn’t like Friday night, you tell me? Time to party to kick back and watch TV without worrying about work the next day (although technically I am still heading back to work on an entirely voluntary basis).

I guess I kind of missed this space. There have been ideas for wedding-related posts, such as my ideal wedding songlist (but that would require me to post from my laptop rather than my iPhone which is what I have been doing for the previous few posts, lazy blogger that I am, and ambitious me wants to do Malay-to-English translations for the lyrics because I get a kick out of it, so that would take some time), my opinion on wedding sponsorship inspired by the latest wedding-of-the-year announcement (which would so make me out to be somewhat of a sour grape, if phrased without care, which means that it would also take some time to not make it so), and more 4P (pengantin pelik punya persalinan)-related ideas.

I guess I’ll just update about the latest concrete thing I’ve done for my wedding: I’ve purchased my very first hantaran gift! Make no mistake, it’s my hantaran gift, which means it would be on one of the trays that I would receive from my mister. Yes, I am totally into being practical; I buy what I would use, he buys what he would use, then we’ll just pass the gifts to each other to be decorated. (Although I suspect that I would end up buying his gifts for him too, me being the shopperholic that I am, and if he stays as nonchalant as he has been so far about wedding-related matters.)

If I had my way I would do away with this tradition altogether as not only does it incur extra (unnecessary) cost to the total wedding expenditure, it also strikes me to be more an exercise in materialistic display than anything else. Designer bags, branded skincare, the latest geek gadgets, huge-ass cameras, the more expensive the price and obscure the name, the better as it supposedly shows how far you’ve arrived (or how you’ve scored a great catch of a husband). I would be the first to admit that I have been sucked into subscribing to this mindset before. I remember telling a younger cousin once that when I get married, I would have my groom put a C bag on one of the trays. That was the time before I could afford one; now that I could and have afforded a number of them and others like S and L and J – more because I love their designs and don’t believe in buying counterfeit – I don’t see the point in making my mister buy one more just for the sake of display. Yes, I would probably buy more in the future, or he would gift me, but that would be a personal act by an individual to indulge herself / between two lovers who would like to express their love through the act of gifting. There is no need for anyone else to know (beyond the usual few people you share such incidents of joy with because you know that they’d be sincerely happy for you).

If I had my way, I would do away with this tradition altogether. I am still abiding by it because it is one of those things that my mom says has to be in a Malay wedding. Since I have already ‘wrestled’ the steering of the ship of wedding planning from her through loud hints for at least one year before, I guess it’s only right I keep certain things to make her happy.

Despite the nature of my job and the vital role I play in supposedly preserving culture by transmitting it, I hold on to the principle encapsulated by the saying, ‘hilang adat tegal muafakat’; the customary way of doing things can be changed if there’s consensus. If we the younger generation all agree about the excessive nature that Malay weddings have become, by speaking up about it, we could change things in the next generation. I, for one, would not impose such tradition on my hypotethical son or daughter. Want to get married? Is he earning enough to support you? Are you both earning enough to support yourselves and contribute a portion to starting a family with your equal partner? Do you both see and treat each other as equal partners in the first place? Do you both love God more than each other? Do you both believe in working together to obey God to achieve spiritual highs (and not one of you obeying the other because that’s the easy way to heaven?) (Yes I can’t help but put my feminist take on things.) Those are the questions that I would probably ask before I say “Ok go get married and have your wedding the way you want – or just get the important part done without a wedding if you don’t have the funds. Bonda will just post an announcement on Facebook to tell the whole wide world that you’re married.”