My Big Fat Malay Wedding

Which I’m glad I insisted on not having (at least for my family’s reception, and although a 500 pax guestlist may still seem a huge number, it’s definitely modest as compared to the 1200 to 1500 pax invited for my three elder siblings’ weddings.)

But this isn’t about my wedding, obviously,  which I still haven’t found time to blog about, since I’ve been swamped with work! This is about something which I just thought was worth sharing. Now, unlike other kahwin bloggers I don’t usually promote wedding-related events here, but this one has more meaning than the ‘here’s how to spend even more money than you can afford to* for a one or two-day event in your life’ kind of event.

*afford to = you can spend and still have money left over to pay for your future home renovation without taking a loan, or you can spend without having to starve scrimp and save, then having the money in your bank account almost wiped out after the big day(s) is over, and should an emergency happen thereafter, you’re quite frankly (financially) doomed

Ok, enough of my cynicism. I saw this off my FB feed and thought it worthwhile to share!


You can check out ‘Assakinah Academy’ on Facebook for more information.

BTW, I am in no way affiliated to the organiser and have never attended any course, programme or seminar conducted by them, so I cannot vouch for the quality of the event. But if you do attend, do share your experience! 🙂

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Too beautiful not to share. And I’m reminded of a phrase I had used to describe an old friend whom I once had the opportunity to get close to; ‘a kindred spirit’. We were so alike, I had declared it ‘crazy and scary’. Together with another friend, we had a dream of opening a book café; yes, a café where people could say, “Yes I’ll have that book to go with my coffee,” and they could spend the time there reading leisurely.

That was a good ten years ago, and for some reason life took a different turn, I made some choices and neither did I nurture nor take the effort to pursue the friendship when circumstances slowly made us drift away from each other.

Or perhaps it was just me who felt like they were ‘kindred spirits’, while for them I’m just another old friend who came and went. But reading this makes me miss them and my heart ache for the soulmates that could have been.

Love, InshAllah


The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Souls are like crowds, which gather together. The ones who met before get along well. The ones who did not meet before, cannot get along very well and separate.” (Bukhari, Anbiya, 2; Muslim, Birr, 159; Abu Dawud, Adab, 19).

I believe soulmates exist. Believing in soulmates is equivalent to believing in the existence of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy- people scoff and laugh at me. Some even sit me down and try to reason with me. They explain how there is no way that human relationships go beyond the realm of what we know.

But I know otherwise.

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A comeback

I’ve been stalking the wedding by the sea that has just happened this weekend (oh yes, I finally got myself an account and have been active there rather than here, and so far I think only that bride knows of it), and well it has gotten me reminiscing about my wedding and it got me back here reading my previous posts and I realise, I have got to blog about it before I totally forget all the details!

Yes, yes, I am going to start wiping off the dust and cobwebs in here and I will finish what I started. I finally feel safe to share more details about my wedding, without having to be so secretive anymore, because frankly I don’t care anymore who’s going to stumble upon this space and find out my identity (or who has been silently reading with underlying motives).

My main purpose for sharing is to hopefully be a useful guide for those who are getting married and would like to not spend so much.

So, watch this space! 🙂

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My bachelorette partayyy! – Part 3

Note: I started writing this post months ago, which feels like a different lifetime altogether haha.. but I guess I’m just publishing it for memories’ sake! I hope it’s entertaining for both my new and current readers! ;p

Like finallayyyy, eh?

Ini cerita dari tahun lepas sampai dah masuk tahun baru belum habis-habis lagi, apa kes??? Which is why I’m going to keep this as short (and as painless for your tender, text-allergic eyes hahaha) as possible. I need to move on and make space for so many new memories (my wedding lah, what else?), so here goes, part three and the final story of my bachelorette party (alliterations galore!)

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2 months 2 weeks

That’s about how long I’ve been a married woman (and him a married man) and I now totally understand why (some) bride-to-be / wedding planning bloggers ‘disappear’ from the blogging scene after their big day. Regular life (read: work) plus marriage aka having someone around to entertain and vice versa takes up so much of your energy, attention and time that blogging just seems like something you did years ago when you were an angsty teenage kid (which is true, I did blog when I was a teenager and stopped some time in uni, then picked it up again here).

So forgive me if any of you had been dropping by for updates and kept seeing the same old post (was it a reblog about feminism and being offended? I can’t remember) and found my blog even more boring than it already is. Yeah I know, I’m not the typical wedding planning blogger who provides useful information about the latest dreamy or gorgeous or trendy wedding ideas or companies aka ways to waste your money on (see how cynical I am?), for that you can always move on to that oh-so-famous kakak kahwin blog or other blogs in the like. I am was the pengantin pelik for a reason, and forever will be a perempuan pelik because I believe there is more to life than planning a wedding and better ways to spend your my hard-earned money.

But I digressed. (See, what is it with me and my super long preambles?) Why am I here,  blogging again? Because once again I’m awake on a Saturday morning (I’m quite the morning person) while my husband is snoring away beside me. Well, that’s not exactly the reason, that’s just the circumstance that’s allowing me to be blogging now. The actual reason is I’ve got something to say which is something I can’t say on my FB, because I don’t know, I have my family there and people who may not agree with me on this and might even be offended if I say this because, well, it goes against their views about the purpose of marriage. Not that all those people can’t come here and still read what I want to say, but this is my space and I can choose to publish and respond (or not to) to any comments so I find it safer, somehow.

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Do We Have To Be Offended By Everything

I was just re-reading my old post entitled ‘I don’t like the word ‘izin”, and this post appeared in my feed, and it seems fitting, somehow. To anyone who has stumbled on that old post and the question ‘Do we have to be offended by everything?’ crossed your mind, then read this post!

The Belle Jar

You are a smart person and you pride yourself on your critical thinking abilities and general good taste.

You read or hear or watch something and find yourself smiling, nodding in agreement, maybe even laughing out loud. This, whatever this happens to be, is genius. Whoever created it somehow articulated exactly what you’ve been thinking but have never been able to put into words. Nothing has ever been more perfect.

You share what you’ve just read, heard or watched with your friends, expecting that they’ll be just as blown away by the insight and hilarity as you were. And some people do get it, so you high five to celebrate your mutual intelligence and awesomeness. But then a few of your friends start to voice misgivings, and then someone comes right out and says it:

This isn’t cool.

Here’s the thing – you’re not a bad person. In fact, you…

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